Unemployment Sucks

..Depending on how you look at it I guess. I don't really consider myself "unemployed" because I am a student, but trying to find a job and acting as if I already have the degree I am working towards has made me really think about what I am doing. It's been kind of scary and ground shattering, actually. I feel useless. Seeing the kind of job that my aunt and uncle have and knowing that my education probably won't lead me to the lifestyle that they enjoy worries me a little, because I look up to them a lot.

It boils down to the fact that I have no savings and I still have no idea what I want to do with my life. For a while I was subconciously content thinking that I would always be playing music and dancing, and that studying it along with some kind of business context would be enough. But that is a hard life, and will come with consequences, and I don't know if I will be able to make it work.

Being away from home semi-permanently for the first time ever, basically, has done what I wanted it to do. It has not only thrown me into real life, but it has also made me appreciate how awesome things actually were, and I definitely miss being in Rochester. Granted, I seem to be developing this "grass is always greener" frame of mind... So that is one thing I have to get better at, living in the moment and being happy where I am. But I am definitely getting alot out of being here, and I will definitely appreciate being home.

I have, however, been enjoying the crazies that inhabit the city. Particularly an old drunk (republican?) lesbian that bought our table 2 rounds of drinks after hitting on me in the bathroom :)

Bored, sweet!

So it might be weird that I'm excited about being bored, but I can't remember the last time I had absolutely nothing to do. I mean obviously I am job hunting. And hanging out with Robin tonight. And there are things I should start doing, like practicing. But it's really nice to re-set, and re-think what I really want to be doing.

Day 3 of nothing but job hunting is starting to wear on me though. I haven't been dancing or socializing or partying, I've just been getting used to the area, resting up and getting comfortable at Janna's house. It has been good for me up until this point, but now I am ready to be done, I just want to start working again. Right now it's hard to make big plans because I don't know what my schedule will be like or if I will have extra cash or a means to get where I want to go.

I'm still not worried though :)

Summer Plans

Job hunting here hasn't been as much of a drag as I expected, obviously not a blast but it's not hopeless; there are some pretty cool leads. I found an opening at a record store right on 1st and Pine which is an amazing location, and I had randomly met the guy working there at a party over the weekend so I'm really hoping that will work. My other brilliant idea was to get a job working in the same building as the Century ballroom, so even though their weekly dance is 21+, maybe I can get in through work connections. If those don't work out I have put my resume in every restaurant I have come across, and also greenpeace? Random, but it might be cool. Jon says standing on street corners and bothering people for donations is like shooting a big bad whaling ship with a rubber bullet. Maybe so. I'd still be getting paid.

When I came here there were some doubts in the back of my mind that I would be able to make it work for the whole summer, and that I might have to get a flight back to Rochester, but I don't think that will have to happen. There are so many things I want to do, not only in the area but also along this coast. Trips to Vancouver, Portland, Forks (bahahahaha, that's right, we are going to see Edward there) are all potentially in the works. and they are also saying that flights to Hawaii and Japan might be cheap from here, but last two are definitely a stretch.

The city is going to be alot of fun this summer though, I'm really excited. When I'm not working to make money I will be practicing cello, dancing, and exploring. Despite my weird unnatural urge to fill every second of every day with something to do, I want to leave time to be spontaneous and have adventures.

Camp Jitterbug = AWESOME

The beginning of the event was a bit rocky for me, partly because I didn't have any of my Rochester dance friends there. Of course I knew people and met people, but obviously you can't develop such great friendships in such a short weekend. Also, I was inexplicably and hopelessly exhausted for most of the weekend, including both Friday and Saturday night dances, so that was really annoying. I couldn’t hardly keep my eyes open, and I didn’t feel like myself at all, especially not in classes.

It’s funny because I’m sure non-dancers will read this and say… you got 4 hours of sleep and you have been dancing/walking/socializing non-stop, of course you should be tired. But there is a certain high that usually comes with these events that I guess I didn't have for a little while. It came back though!

The dancing last night and all day today made up for it completely, when I finally got back into the “swing” of things. Getting hit in the face by Davis only temporarily slowed down the night =P

Also, I am starting to realize how much I love solo jazz… in the past two weeks of crazy awesome dancing and classes, my favorite work shops have been solo classes, and it is something I really plan on working on. Sakarias' classes are all on the top of my list, so if we get him in Rochester for workshops I'd pee my pants. Maybe. Probably not, but I'd be really excited anyways.

On the plane to Seattle

I haven't sat down and just written about what I have been up to lately, probably because up until now it has been pretty standard (if you can call my insanely busy schedule "standard"), but I have a bit of time right now. Flying on Virgin Airlines is awesome, but the novelty of seat to seat chat has worn off and I didn't end up packing anything to read.

School felt like it ended super early, and I barely had time to unpack my stuff before packing to leave again, what with work, losing my car, dancing, dress shopping, and what felt like an unreasonable amount of other random things to do. It’s all good fun though, I love my crazy life.

Everything awesome this summer starts with what would have been Frankie Manning’s birthday but what turned into his memorial weekend. It was a whirlwind inspirational festival and of course the swingingest party since the olden days, but it was also very somber and grounding for me. I have so much to learn and understand about the history and the dance and it’s no small responsibility. It was hard for me to really let loose and celebrate because of everything I was trying to take in. The weekend was about more than just looking for a good party (which is what I hope Camp Jitterbug will be).

Instead of going to sleep last night I got all packed up and brought my 70 pounds of luggage (meant to last all summer) out to dinner, hung out with Steve and Monica in the city, and ended up dancing and chilling at Mona’s for the rest of the night until we left for the airport at 4:30. Mona’s is a little dive bar in the east village that many of the local jazz musicians converge upon after their regular Tuesday night gigs, and it seems like the real deal. I can’t even explain how much I love the music and the atmosphere and the unique talents that are seemingly only appreciated in these small venues, like washboard and shaker (Eve and I talked about this last night, it takes skill to shake that egg, damnit!). On a related side note, I need to learn how to tap like some of those guys. They are just as integral to the music as the other players and it just feels so good.

I am also serious about learning the music that is married to dance. Again, it’s no small responsibility and will take a lot of practice, but I think it’s so important. Frankie wrote a piece a few months ago about how much musicians learn by playing with and for dancers, and vice versa. What is going to be difficult, or at least a worthy challenge, is keeping up my classical studies on top of everything, because that is what I am in school for after all. And I do love it, even if it’s in a very different way.

Seeing the Elianto Quintet in the subway reminded of that, and it certainly helped that the cellist was absolutely beautiful. Not that I am biased or anything :P

Adventure!

Reasons I created this blog:
-write about my adventures
-dump random thoughts
-give insight to why I do what I do
-set goals publicly (if people ask me about them, there's a better chance I'll actually accomplish them, right?)

Not reasons I created this blog:
-make money
-fit in
-change the world
-tell you what to do
-provide witty entertainment or important information

This is not specifically a dance blog or a career blog or a travel blog, it's basically another "story of my life" type deals. You'll get a bit of everything =)

I apologize in advance for probably being a bit long winded, I'll be treating this as a journal for a while just to get myself writing again, then hopefully I'll get a bit more interesting and analytical.

Eventually I'll also be posting photos and maybe videos, as soon as I get a cable to connect the digital camera to my computer (thanks to Mike for letting me borrow his camera!!).