Unemployment Sucks

..Depending on how you look at it I guess. I don't really consider myself "unemployed" because I am a student, but trying to find a job and acting as if I already have the degree I am working towards has made me really think about what I am doing. It's been kind of scary and ground shattering, actually. I feel useless. Seeing the kind of job that my aunt and uncle have and knowing that my education probably won't lead me to the lifestyle that they enjoy worries me a little, because I look up to them a lot.

It boils down to the fact that I have no savings and I still have no idea what I want to do with my life. For a while I was subconciously content thinking that I would always be playing music and dancing, and that studying it along with some kind of business context would be enough. But that is a hard life, and will come with consequences, and I don't know if I will be able to make it work.

Being away from home semi-permanently for the first time ever, basically, has done what I wanted it to do. It has not only thrown me into real life, but it has also made me appreciate how awesome things actually were, and I definitely miss being in Rochester. Granted, I seem to be developing this "grass is always greener" frame of mind... So that is one thing I have to get better at, living in the moment and being happy where I am. But I am definitely getting alot out of being here, and I will definitely appreciate being home.

I have, however, been enjoying the crazies that inhabit the city. Particularly an old drunk (republican?) lesbian that bought our table 2 rounds of drinks after hitting on me in the bathroom :)

Bored, sweet!

So it might be weird that I'm excited about being bored, but I can't remember the last time I had absolutely nothing to do. I mean obviously I am job hunting. And hanging out with Robin tonight. And there are things I should start doing, like practicing. But it's really nice to re-set, and re-think what I really want to be doing.

Day 3 of nothing but job hunting is starting to wear on me though. I haven't been dancing or socializing or partying, I've just been getting used to the area, resting up and getting comfortable at Janna's house. It has been good for me up until this point, but now I am ready to be done, I just want to start working again. Right now it's hard to make big plans because I don't know what my schedule will be like or if I will have extra cash or a means to get where I want to go.

I'm still not worried though :)

Summer Plans

Job hunting here hasn't been as much of a drag as I expected, obviously not a blast but it's not hopeless; there are some pretty cool leads. I found an opening at a record store right on 1st and Pine which is an amazing location, and I had randomly met the guy working there at a party over the weekend so I'm really hoping that will work. My other brilliant idea was to get a job working in the same building as the Century ballroom, so even though their weekly dance is 21+, maybe I can get in through work connections. If those don't work out I have put my resume in every restaurant I have come across, and also greenpeace? Random, but it might be cool. Jon says standing on street corners and bothering people for donations is like shooting a big bad whaling ship with a rubber bullet. Maybe so. I'd still be getting paid.

When I came here there were some doubts in the back of my mind that I would be able to make it work for the whole summer, and that I might have to get a flight back to Rochester, but I don't think that will have to happen. There are so many things I want to do, not only in the area but also along this coast. Trips to Vancouver, Portland, Forks (bahahahaha, that's right, we are going to see Edward there) are all potentially in the works. and they are also saying that flights to Hawaii and Japan might be cheap from here, but last two are definitely a stretch.

The city is going to be alot of fun this summer though, I'm really excited. When I'm not working to make money I will be practicing cello, dancing, and exploring. Despite my weird unnatural urge to fill every second of every day with something to do, I want to leave time to be spontaneous and have adventures.